Week 11 - Day 71

Week 11 - Day 71
Kgs lost: 4
Days without sugar: 0

By popular vote (and also because I agree) there will be no bootcamp this month. I lay in bed this morning, listening to the rain, snuggling further under the doona and felt truly luxurious. The plan was to start boxing classes downstairs in the gym twice a week during lunchtimes. Yet, today as I booked the time into my diary, I was immediately flummoxed. I faced the problem that all white collar workers face. Everything gets booked over. This is especially true if you deal with Managers (their time being more important than yours).

So, I'll have to do much more than the 75% of the boxing classes I can turn up to.

The other major news I have today is that I have decided to go 1 year without sugar as of 1 September 2009. It's the first day of spring, after all. After the look of horror on people's faces, they said to me 'why don't you just do it for a month? That way you won't feel so bad when you fail.' The problem with doing anything for a month is that it's finite. It's short. You do it for a bit and then you go back to the way you were because the light at the end of the tunnel was never far away. If you do something for a year, it forces you to become inventive about how you live your life.

I have to be reasonable, though. Everything we eat is saturated in sugar. Our cultural palate is growing duller by the day and we require more salt, more sugar, more artificial flavours to make our taste sensations. Short of turning hermit and making all my own food from scratch (growing my own veggies and killing my own chooks), I will have to set some boundaries around this sugar goal.

Yes list: All alcohol contains sugar. Am I going dry for 1 year? Unlikely. Allowable drinks include wine and spirits mixed with juice or sugar free softdrink like Coke Zero or Pepsi Max. Also, yes to fruit juice, keeping it as natural as possible. Yes to fruit. Yes to honey. Yes to mochas (I'm not giving up coffee, sorry). Yes to bread and pasta.
No list: Softdrinks (except sugar free), alcopops, flavoured milks, processed sugar items like chocolate, icecream and lollies, bakery treats like doughnuts, cakes and slices, cereals like Cocoa Pops and Cornflakes.

Slight hiccup in my plans ... who wants those milk chocolate raspberry bullets I just ordered from Melbourne?

Week 10 - Day 68

The Xena Project
Week 10 - Day 68

I put the month of September up to popular vote. Should I continue with boot camp #3 or do something different like boxing? The response was about 90% boxing with a few random suggestions. Someone voted for roller derby. No-one proposed pole dancing or cat herding. While physical activity is important, it's only part of the story. I've lost a bit of weight and put on some muscle but after two months, I'm still not that kick-ass Xena goddess.

In the top drawer of my bedside table, I keep a small, crumpled up bit of paper. On it is a list of things I want to do in my life. Things like visit Scotland, see an aurora, learn another language or write a book are deeds I expect to do at some point, I'm just not sure when. They require money, time and devotion. There is, however, one item on that list that I could do at any time. Go one year without sugar.

Apart from the withdrawals and the temptations, there are cultural factors interfering with this life goal. How do I avoid insulting someone by refusing to eat their birthday or wedding cake? How do I avoid casting a guilt trip 'heavy' when I turn up to a chick flick night bearing carrots and hommus? What should I order when going out on the town and don't feel like drinking wine? Most of all, what do I say when people demand to know the meaning of this freakish, sugarless existence?
"I'm on a diet" is such a tired statement. It elicits devil words like 'don't be silly', 'you don't need to' or 'live a little'.
"It's a lifestyle choice" sounds like I'm one of those people who won't eat fruit unless it's already fallen from the tree or maybe that I'm going to wear leather to gay clubs and pick up women.

The Xena challenge needs to be stepped up somehow. Perhaps it's time to cross another item off my list.

Week 10 - Day 64

The Xena Project
Week 10 - Day 64


In church, people hesitate to be real. This is because the things we really do (like swear and have sex and take the little hotel shampoos home) are often looked upon as sinful... or at very least frowned upon. So, you get a whole bunch of people milling around with big smiles and lilting voices saying things like ‘cast your cares’ and ‘let me pray for you.’

I thought this was contained to the world of religion but it seems not. People are people everywhere and gym culture is no exception. The minute you admit to that strawberry double freddo or not turning up to bootcamp, you get hardballed with phrases like ‘here’s a teaspoon of concrete’ or ‘suck it up princess’ and exhorted to do better next time.

I admit that I’m starting to lose momentum. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I went this morning and worked faithfully hard. The problem is that exercise for the sake of exercise is ... well, it’s boring. I squat, I stand, I prone hold, I push up, I lift, I lower. There are ways to mix it up but the longer you do it, the more repetitive it gets.

Yet, I’m still so far from my goal.

Perhaps dedication is that elusive fifth and final state of being to usher in fitness enlightenment. Fifth, final and hardest.

Week 9 - Day 61

The Xena Project
Week 9 - Day 61

When the hero shows weakness, it is usually a plot device. The cliffhanger gets you to tune in after the commercials or the next show. Then you find out it was all a part of the hero's master plan and, of course, they were only acting. There are some exceptions to this. Frodo really did choose the ring at Mt Doom before fate saved him. Anakin really did turn to the dark side, but we all knew this because we saw Return of the Jedi before Revenge of the Sith.

I didn't go to bootcamp this morning.

I faced my moment of weakness and I gave in. I just couldn't face all the running and lifting when I carry inside me the heaviest substance known to man, the human heart. Forget Uranium or element 118. A hurting heart weighs far more. I think I'd quickly become the richest person on earth if I discovered the miracle cure for this. Heartbreak is like hiccups. Everyone has their own cure, from alcohol to chocolate to rebound sex. In the end, it's all just licking your lips against a dry wind. The relief is brief and then you're worse off than before.

I lay in bed in the dark, Samson purring at my feet because the alarm usually means a big pat and some breakfast. I lay there, I pulled the pillow closer and I went back to sleep.

Week 9 - Day 57

The Xena Project
Week 9 - Day 57

Today was kind of eerie. I said good morning not just to the moon, but also to the fog blanket covering the ANZ/QEII stadium training track. It was the scene in Harry Potter where the dementors glide past, sucking all the happiness out of the world. It was the scene of a horror film but we fled the terrifying, never-die stalker of our spare tyres and saddle bags. I lived through the horror film, of course, because I am not the happy-go-lucky 20yr old blonde who must meet the first gruesome end. Nor am I the amiable side-kick who dies unexpectedly somewhere in the middle. I must be the journo who lives to the end and reports on the sad events that unfolded this morning on the floodlit slopes of Nathan.

Actually, though I live on, it is in dread of what impact running 16 times up a slippery 45degree hill will have on my calves. Not to mention the reps of 16 pushups in between. On Day 10, I revealed that 'sore' is one of the perpetual states of bootcamp being, like hungry, tired and incredulous (at the bathroom nexus).

All I need now is to attain one more perpetual state of being and then perhaps I'll have five paths to enlightenment!

Week 8 - Day 54

The Xena Project
Week 8 - Day 54

In my mind, I have all the capabilities of a 20 year old. I have the ability to drop a dress size in a week by living off apples and cheese. I can stay out all winter's night in something skimpy and not get sick. I can have any man I want. I could probably get through a fight by relying on sheer guts and quick thinking. I still have time before I have to grow up.

Someone asked me recently why I'm going on this fitness journey. I answered honestly (brutally and awkwardly as only I can). It is because I feel that time is running out for me. Time is not on my side where it comes to everything sitting where it should and working as it should. The fitness journey is taking longer and I'm working much harder than my 20 year old self expected. All being well ... I will have a brief, shining window of opportunity to be that glorious goddess of perfect fitness and form before age and those other joys of life take their toll.

I went back to bootcamp this morning after two weeks with the flu. I always inevitably get sick whenever I decide to be healthy. It's Murphy's way of providing that extra motivational challenge. While I'm still, fortunately, among the fitter, I am clearly no longer 20.

Then again, at least I don't fall on the ground dramatically mewling and scowling like it's highschool gym and this is sooo totally like ugh! I have to pretend those 20yr olds aren't in the class in case my boot accidentally connects with their backsides. Then there was the 20yr old this morning GHDing her hair as I walked into the bathroom. I had a shower, dressed, dried my hair etc and when I left she was still standing there perfecting the little curl at the end of her ponytail.

I think perhaps it's better not to be 20, after all.

Week 7 Day 42

Week 7 Day 42 - 1.4kg or 4kgs
Total Larapinta sponsorship $35/kg + $50 donation

The weightloss challenge ended last night and I'll be glad to put the scales away. They've really let me down. About a week ago, I took one of those silly facebook tests to discover my ideal weight. It told me I needed to lose 15 kilograms or, in other words, this entire cat.

:-S

Somehow, I think it's better to focus on the clothes and the stats. The second round of bootcamp began this morning. We met in the cold predawn at the QEII/ANZ stadium to do a fitness test and a run.
43 sit ups - feet unsecured (vs 100 knees off the ground crunches in the first test)
13 half pushups on my toes (vs 15 on my knees during the first test) ... bear in mind I'd already done 4 sets of 5 during the warmup.
1:50mins plank on my toes (vs 1:23mins)
2km jog (1.4km continuous over 15minutes) ... no data to compare.

Thanks to everyone who sponsored me for your time and your generosity.